Function Name Contest Winners

OK, so I'm a day late in announcing the winner of the Function Name Contest. It was a difficult decision, but I narrowed it down to the following entries:

  • Chip: LOOKUP TODAY AND CONVERT - CHOOSE NOT SIN, ERROR, OR FALSE SUBSTITUTEs - REPLACE SIN's POWER NOW!
  • Ken Clifton: TRUE FACT, TODAY KURT AND DELTA PEARSON CHOOSE on a WORKDAY to TRIM a SMALL FALSE UPPER CEILING, AND EVEN CLEAN an ODD YIELD SIGN, for a SECOND TIME, IF on a WEEKDAY TRENT FISHER FIXED the IMAGINARY SKEW EFFECT AND SLOPE of the ROWS on a LARGE LOWER FALSE LOG TYPE FLOOR, AND IF the EXACT PRICE would OFFSET OR MATCH the TRUE MEDIAN PRODUCT VALUE OF an AVERAGE ROUND ROMAN DOLLAR.
  • Frank: TODAY’s NOT the RIGHT DAY AND NOW’s NOT the RIGHT MINUTE; I’d LIKE to CHOOSE a PROPER TIME.

I was unable to make a decision. Chip's was about a topic near and dear to my heart. Ken's was the longest, yet still made sense. Frank's was simple, yet perfectly coherent.

Therefore, this contest has three weiners winners. Chip, Ken, and Frank  — please send me an email with your mailing address so I can send your prize: an autographed Excel book in a language that you (probably) can't read.

6 Comments

  1. Jon Peltier says:

    John -

    I suspect you have a garage full of books in languages you can’t read. I’ll bet you could send one to everyone who submitted an entry.

    - Jon

  2. Doug Glancy says:

    Good choices. I think they all passed ZTEST!

  3. Ken Clifton says:

    Я надеюсь, что я буду способен читать книгу. Это напоминает, что это могло бы быть написано по-русски!

  4. способен читать с babelfish

  5. doco says:

    How about a contest using ‘Frank’, ‘Chip’ and ‘Ken’ as puns?

    But let’s be Frank; this would not have a Chip of relationship to the Ken of Excel.

    (O, what might we come up with if we broaden that to the usage of personalities on this blog (John, Dick, Rob, etc))

  6. Ken Clifton says:

    Well, I got my book. And John was right I couldn’t read it. I thought I would get lucky and it would be one I could actually read.

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